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I can’t forget the days when I was working as a lecturer in a Government Collage. I don’t know what should I call the name of this internship experience like bad or good? But it was really very memorable and an instructive experience. Every person has his own experience as a trainee but what he feels and learns from his experience it is a little bit different from another person. Everyone has its own way of thinking. Their nature, their priorities, and circumstances can contradict to others. But human feelings emotions might be same.
As a human being everyone wants to see himself onward or flourishing. Likewise I was also very passionate and want to do something. So, one day I find an opportunity. That was an internship program introduced by government, basis on nine month contract with a small pay package. I remember the moment when I found this advertisement on a newspaper. I was so happy because Internship is a turning point of our professional life. That’s in actual calls a first step for entrance the world of responsibilities and duties.
A man starts his career with new passion and enthusiasm because it’s a beginning of his professional life. I was also going to start my career with these above mentioned aspects. I was the first one in my badge who got job in that institute where we were educated and spent a great student life. That was an amazing feeling to work with my own teachers and now they were my colleagues too. A highly rejoicing moment was that when I had to sit with my teachers in a staff room. My heart was hooting with the slogan of hurrah because of this success. My friends and group fellows were getting jealous. Only one of them always appreciated the achievement of my life because she is my best friend.
My all teachers were proud of me. That was why, after joining of this job, my self confidence was enhanced. But with the start of my working day I realized that a trainee has to face a lot of difficulties during working hours. For instance there were a lot of work load. A trainee has also a lack respect instead of a permanent employee. Even the students of my class were also behaved with non serious attitude. Because they might be have an idea about my contractual appointment. Beside it, I was looking so young and generally people consider me as a student by appearance. That was why I had to treat students very professionally and strictly, although my nature was very friendly. But because of the maintenance of a class discipline I had to change my nature and acted as a marble hearted. Some of my students really liked my way of teaching.
After putting the first pace in a practical life, I judged my teaching ability by myself. No doubt, I had a command on my subject. But due to a bundle of knowledge, I faced troublesome to explain something very briefly. Mostly students like me because I elaborated the lesson very clearly. But some of them very disturbed because it was the beyond of their mental approach. Time management was another tough challenge with this great knowledge. Every lecture had a specific time in which a particular part of syllabus ought to covered.
I also reckoned a fact that my subject knowledge was enough but the general knowledge was very weak. Sometimes students asked very easy questions but I was so speechless and had no any appropriate answers. This weakness was creating a bad impact on a lecture. I valuated that easy things even, related to my subject were ignored and unsolved by me and that was very embarrassing to say sorry about tiny issues. After getting this assessment I have started to give much importance to educated myself. I apply for a higher study and passed the general assessment test with good marks.
No doubt it was an honor for me to have sitting with my masters who were also my colleagues. I thought, I am so lucky but ironically, environs are opposite to my contemplation. For instance they always try to demean me excepting one of them, who always ready to assist me. Otherwise all seniors cumbered over me. Unfortunately I could not deny the duty, which had given by them.
Owing to my efficient response they habitually depended on me. And this unbearable cumbersomeness had cause a headache in my daily routine. It seemed that I was getting sick because there was no any leisure time even for eating. Six lectures had to deliver per day with an additional one, called a “zero period”. My working hours were about 8.00am to 3.00pm. Functions organizations and other managements also included in my duties.
Due to busy hours, I could not complete office work in college. So I had to manage some task at home such as, checking the papers, arranging the lists, question papers, articles for a college magazine, preparing of results etc. There was only one day off and the salary was not enough for basic needs. Beside it, even after doing the three month job, salary was still pending. That was really very disappointing and discouraging to me.
I could not continue the job because of these pathetic reasons. Majority of the people consider it my fault. But according to my point of view, that was a right decision to resigning from this job. I had just three months teaching experience but learned a lot of things. I am accepting very boldly my weakness. I received the salary of three months after closing the date of contract. But I am still satisfied because according to my way of thinking, we are not doing job just for earning. Besides, if we cannot justify with the job, then should be resign without exterior pressure. Ironically, now I am ready for a next job but prefer an institute which is not familiar to me.
This essay is the Consolation Prize entry for “Benjamin Bloom Student Scholarship 2017”.
Contributed by: Rabia Khalid